Life these days

Feeling the need to write in here again, mostly because I don't have a reporter job at the moment, so I'm feeling unfulfilled. Ah, yes, unfulfilled by the insane amount of research and interviewing/transcribing tapes/taking hours to write a simple 500-word article...all for an absurdly, laughably low slave wage. My fellow Journalism major/communications people know what I'm sayin'. In particular, there's not much respect for young writers -- not from sources and not from coworkers. Apparently we're too young and inexperienced to know anything about life or have any ability. It's depressing. And right now I can't even work at The Acorn, the paper where I interned two summers in a row and then had a freelance job for one year. The economy sucks and it KILLS me that I can't do my thankless and yet, paradoxically, rewarding job. I know that I'm good at what I do, too (yes I am tooting my own horn), so it just kills me.

One of the trainers at the barn where I ride mentioned that I should ghost write a book he wants to publish, but I'm not really sure how serious he was. I should probably encourage/push him to start so I can have something to do with my time until I get a real job. Also, he wants to write a biography, which is right up my alley. I've done a bazillion personality profile articles, so this would be a fun challenge. It's difficult to write about a source that you haven't had the chance to meet, but I've even done THAT before. So, my plan is to see if I can get that ball rolling in the near future.



I'm already in a tremendous amount of debt with the parents because I've been freeloading by riding again, starting since I've been back from Spain. What I'd really like to do is just buy my own horse, but obviously that's unrealistic when I'm unemployed and living off daddy's dime (AND mommy's -- she got a new/better job!). Now I am so much more aware of how much everything costs than I was as a junior when it was all just left to the trainer to tell my mom how much a new saddle or a new horse blanket and show entries/hauling/braiding/etc would cost. And the costs are higher in California than they were in Michigan, but equal with what it cost me to ride in New York. Actually, I find that you get much better bang for your buck at the barn where I ride in California than where I rode in Ithaca. Also, it's nice to have a training staff that is more courteous and doesn't have the "oh, Meg, you ride better when you're pissed off at me!" mentality. Sheesh, that drove me nuts. I still find myself pursing my lips and getting highly irritated when I think about it, and how I rarely would say "you're being a jerk and I'm not going to stand for you treating me like a bratty 13 year old." #$)t^*$#%*$# I know, I know, I should just let it go...but I feel like venting. It's my own effin' blog, after all.

What else? Well, I miss my east coast friends horribly. I miss cynicism. I miss hanging out with my own age group and laughing til my face goes numb. Somehow I'll be able to find a new social network, I know, but it's difficult when you're unemployed and not in school.

Which leads me to yet another topic. I am applying to LAW school. That's right. A lot of people are saying "but why? I never heard you mention law before," and to that, I say that no, I've always maintained an interest. I love crime dramas and literature...NOT that I'd go into criminal law, but the whole process fascinates me. Something along the lines of corporate law would appeal to me -- something where I can do what I love, anything that includes doing a lot of research and presenting the results (and HELLO, that's what a journalist does). Yes, I was that dorky kid who looked forward to oral presentations and was meticulous about essays in high school. I was also in the drama club and choir to complete the trifecta of dorkery.

OK, I'm wiped out. I've been awake since 6 a.m. for traffic school after a whopping 3.5 hours of sleep. Yes, I am an insomniac and no, I can't make it through a day without a nap, because I get a "second wind" at night where I can stay up literally all night even on very little sleep from the night before. People give me a lotta flack for being a lazy mofo for my effed up sleep habits (well, that's partially true), but the Ambien I have prescribed to me would beg to differ with those assertions. Sidenote: when I take Ambien and I still can't fall asleep and I decide to do stuff, I behave like I'm intoxicated and sometimes I don't remember what I did the night before until I rack my brain...creepy. I would suggest not taking sleeping pills if possible.

And with that, I will pick up my book and then pop an Ambien and head off to dream land. Buenas noches.