Hollywood livin' ain't half bad minus the problems I've had in this damn apartment. Hot water, water pressure, nowhere to put litter box, storage issues in bathroom, etc. etc. but w/e. Comes with the territory of being a poor 20 something.
Speaking of poor, I miss horses sooo much. If I miraculously become win the Nobel in some literary form I will buy myself a horse barn and ride every day and go to horse shows across the nation. Sigh. I would put my heart and soul into it just as I have before but right now I have no time or money for it. I suppose I would make time if I had funds but alas, no.
Am I bitter? Shrug.
Falling asleep. Ever since I had my sinus surgery I've slept much more like a normal homo sapien than ever in my life. I still hate waking up in the morning. If I had my own way, I wouldn't deal with mornings between 2 a.m. and 11 a.m., ever.
I miss Spain and Italy. Next year I'm going back to Italy for a trip with my mom + cousin Samantha + a few aunts, and I cannot wait. I'm really rusty on my Italian but oh well. I have a year to practice. I have been reading up lyrics to Mozart arias in the (old) Italian and reading side-by-side translations, such I can juxtapose my love of classical music with my nerdy love of languages.
Someone told me nerds create an alternate fantasy world in which to live because "real life" is too, um, "real" for them, or harsh, or what have you. That's not me. I don't know what I am. I suppose I'm just an idiosyncratic semi-loner.
Good night blog, good work. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
New life developments
Sometimes life has a funny way of letting all the pieces fall into place after a long struggle of trying to figure out what you want. I'm much happier this year, at this point, than I was last August. Well, in most aspects.
Turns out I'm not moving in with anybody else anymore. I'm going to move into my own place for the first time since senior year of college. I actually really enjoyed having my own place. In fact, I'm a bit of a social hermit. Being alone is something I enjoy, but I decide when I want to socialize. I think I've always been that way. The only thing I'm worried about is that when I was in school I had a built in social network (not FB, real-live-human-beings network). Now I'm in the so-called "real world" and there is no such safety net. Part of the reason why I'll be getting a second cat, so I can substitute animals for people. Ha.
It look a loooong time to find what I wanted, apartment-wise. I don't like to settle. Again, champagne taste, beer money. And I was not willing to settle in a roommate selection, either. I have a bit of a personality quirk where I don't click with just anyone and I cannot fake friend-chemistry. My face betrays my true emotions, all the time. I originally wanted to live with a good friend in West Hollywood, but then I'd have to live with 2 dogs and my cat would have free access to the (fenced) backyard. I thought I'd be cool with that, but I just wasn't. So started the great quest to find my own place.
The new place is in Hollywood near the subway, which is awesome, because I've long been fed up with driving to work. It's an unimaginable pain in the ass. Now I'll also be getting built in exercise in my walk to and from the subway, which I'm in desperate need of. I've been too tired, too busy, too lazy to exercise much and it's been a hassle trying to get off these excess pounds I put in those months of idleness. The good news is I lose weight easily, but the pounds creep back on just as slowly but surely. I just have to keep my weight loss journey slow but steady to ensure the pounds don't come back. I'm not a yo-yo dieter (I don't diet), but I do fluctuate weight like nobody's business. In fact, that's true for a lot of people in my family except for my dad, whose skinny genes (lolz) i did not inherit. Well, he's pushing 60 and he's still in EXCELLENT shape and the same weight he was in high school. He does work hard at it, though, and eat right.
Nodding off...I haven't been sleeping well lately because I've been too wound for sound about new life developments and I've been too deep in thought about how weird friendships can be. You think you know someone and then they surprise you (negatively). But oh well, onward and upward.
Oh yeah, I am going to move next weekend. The thing I am most dreading is setting up my fish tank again. Blaaah. I've invested a lot of time and money into that damn thing and I want it to go smoothly. I also bought a pimped out filter and the local fish store showed me how to put it together. I'm pumped. My fish are very high maintenance (angels and discus) so this move is really anxiety-inducing. Yes, they're just fish, but I'm nervous about them, anyway. I also don't know where my tank is going to go. Hmmm...
K back to bed.
Turns out I'm not moving in with anybody else anymore. I'm going to move into my own place for the first time since senior year of college. I actually really enjoyed having my own place. In fact, I'm a bit of a social hermit. Being alone is something I enjoy, but I decide when I want to socialize. I think I've always been that way. The only thing I'm worried about is that when I was in school I had a built in social network (not FB, real-live-human-beings network). Now I'm in the so-called "real world" and there is no such safety net. Part of the reason why I'll be getting a second cat, so I can substitute animals for people. Ha.
It look a loooong time to find what I wanted, apartment-wise. I don't like to settle. Again, champagne taste, beer money. And I was not willing to settle in a roommate selection, either. I have a bit of a personality quirk where I don't click with just anyone and I cannot fake friend-chemistry. My face betrays my true emotions, all the time. I originally wanted to live with a good friend in West Hollywood, but then I'd have to live with 2 dogs and my cat would have free access to the (fenced) backyard. I thought I'd be cool with that, but I just wasn't. So started the great quest to find my own place.
The new place is in Hollywood near the subway, which is awesome, because I've long been fed up with driving to work. It's an unimaginable pain in the ass. Now I'll also be getting built in exercise in my walk to and from the subway, which I'm in desperate need of. I've been too tired, too busy, too lazy to exercise much and it's been a hassle trying to get off these excess pounds I put in those months of idleness. The good news is I lose weight easily, but the pounds creep back on just as slowly but surely. I just have to keep my weight loss journey slow but steady to ensure the pounds don't come back. I'm not a yo-yo dieter (I don't diet), but I do fluctuate weight like nobody's business. In fact, that's true for a lot of people in my family except for my dad, whose skinny genes (lolz) i did not inherit. Well, he's pushing 60 and he's still in EXCELLENT shape and the same weight he was in high school. He does work hard at it, though, and eat right.
Nodding off...I haven't been sleeping well lately because I've been too wound for sound about new life developments and I've been too deep in thought about how weird friendships can be. You think you know someone and then they surprise you (negatively). But oh well, onward and upward.
Oh yeah, I am going to move next weekend. The thing I am most dreading is setting up my fish tank again. Blaaah. I've invested a lot of time and money into that damn thing and I want it to go smoothly. I also bought a pimped out filter and the local fish store showed me how to put it together. I'm pumped. My fish are very high maintenance (angels and discus) so this move is really anxiety-inducing. Yes, they're just fish, but I'm nervous about them, anyway. I also don't know where my tank is going to go. Hmmm...
K back to bed.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Good grief
Sometimes I think I'm an equal opportunity misanthrope. Shrug.
Fifty Shades of Grey was god-awful. Repetition galore, pacing problems, crap dialogue, flat characters, and apparently written by a 15-year-old virgin. That's the only demographic I'd imagine would enjoy it. That, and 45 year old soccer moms who never get any.
Feeling very tired and unmotivated...someone find my motivation.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Whoa, Nellie.
Apparently Blogger decided it needed a face lift and the format of my new blog entry is all whacked out. Well, from how it used to be, anyway, so forgive my bewilderment while I write this.
I've been neglecting my blog for lack of material. Well, that's not true. I could spout off any number of things, but the spirit hasn't moved me to do so. Or something. I've since gone through many a change since I last wrote in here, but *shrug*. This ain't no personal diary. In fact, I created it to chronicle my adventures in Spain and didn't think I'd keep up with it whatsoever post-expat life. But, knowing me, I need an audience for what I write so I kept up with it for that reason.
Found out I'll be moving in the near future, to Weho. Very exciting development. I plan on taking my cat and the fish tank with me. Speaking of, my fish tank has apparently replaced my horse habit in expensive hobbies. Let's get real, it's nowhere near the cost of boarding a horse (and all the other lovely expenses involved in horse riding), but it's also a bit pricey. All the upkeep and whatnot. Thinking about getting some discus fish (current occupants are all angelfish and a pleco) once I switch out my current tank for the 60 gallon acrylic tank I got off Craigslist.
Which brings me to another point - Craigslist can be creepy as hell, but it has its uses. I saved a ridiculous amount of money on a fish tank that would've cost more than I make in a month if I'd gotten it new. Ain't cheap. But I can't help myself, as my mom always tells me, I have champagne taste and beer money.
What else - oh yeah, I've been continuing on my Jane Austen kick. It has been taking me forever to get through the annotated version of Emma, but whatever. Those who aren't Austen fans should give it a whirl, particularly the annotated version. It really puts your in the mindset of these people when it can be tricky for the modern reader to appreciate it.
Well, I've been a stranger to the world today. I've literally spent all morning and afternoon up til now listening to the babbling of annoying children outside my window, at the pool. My motivation to clean my room is at an all time low, but I have to in order to prep the apartment for viewings. Grumblecakes. Sigh. Groan. All right, going to turn on some Netflix and clean.
I've been neglecting my blog for lack of material. Well, that's not true. I could spout off any number of things, but the spirit hasn't moved me to do so. Or something. I've since gone through many a change since I last wrote in here, but *shrug*. This ain't no personal diary. In fact, I created it to chronicle my adventures in Spain and didn't think I'd keep up with it whatsoever post-expat life. But, knowing me, I need an audience for what I write so I kept up with it for that reason.
Found out I'll be moving in the near future, to Weho. Very exciting development. I plan on taking my cat and the fish tank with me. Speaking of, my fish tank has apparently replaced my horse habit in expensive hobbies. Let's get real, it's nowhere near the cost of boarding a horse (and all the other lovely expenses involved in horse riding), but it's also a bit pricey. All the upkeep and whatnot. Thinking about getting some discus fish (current occupants are all angelfish and a pleco) once I switch out my current tank for the 60 gallon acrylic tank I got off Craigslist.
Which brings me to another point - Craigslist can be creepy as hell, but it has its uses. I saved a ridiculous amount of money on a fish tank that would've cost more than I make in a month if I'd gotten it new. Ain't cheap. But I can't help myself, as my mom always tells me, I have champagne taste and beer money.
What else - oh yeah, I've been continuing on my Jane Austen kick. It has been taking me forever to get through the annotated version of Emma, but whatever. Those who aren't Austen fans should give it a whirl, particularly the annotated version. It really puts your in the mindset of these people when it can be tricky for the modern reader to appreciate it.
Well, I've been a stranger to the world today. I've literally spent all morning and afternoon up til now listening to the babbling of annoying children outside my window, at the pool. My motivation to clean my room is at an all time low, but I have to in order to prep the apartment for viewings. Grumblecakes. Sigh. Groan. All right, going to turn on some Netflix and clean.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside
Once again, because of my prescribed pain and sleeping pills, I cannot attest to the coherence of this writing specimen. Just trying to give a blow by blow account of my recovery.
Day #1 was pretty much agony - at first I was able to breathe through the nose, then that went away in a matter of hours as residue and scar tissue blocked everything. Then there was the puking from Percocet, a lovely side effect due to not having enough foodstuffs in my tum tum other than a couple of popsicles. It's difficult to eat when you have zero appetite (something I would like to carry with me post-recovery! lol) and it hurts to swallow, but I have to eat something to keep my throat hydrated.
Day #2 No nausea, thank god, just a lot of lolloping around doing nothing and every time I'd take another Percocet I'd be down for the count for several hours. I always wake up with cotton mouth and dread that first sip of water that will hurt as it goes down, the way a shot of whiskey may have hurt before, no joke. Everything is more tender today, less blood from my nose, more mucus or dried blood. Sometimes there are fleeting moments were I can get a (highly obstructed) breath through my nose that makes quite an unpleasant noise and I just say screw it, wait til Harvey vacuums out the debris in there and hopefully I'll be able to breath comfortably.
So, yes, feeling rather useless these days. I can't even watch a whole movie without getting aggravated by the sound (ears hurt, a residual problem since ENT are all connected in this great circle of life).
OK I think I'm too exhausted to write more on my Percocet and Ambien cocktail. Nighty night.
Day #1 was pretty much agony - at first I was able to breathe through the nose, then that went away in a matter of hours as residue and scar tissue blocked everything. Then there was the puking from Percocet, a lovely side effect due to not having enough foodstuffs in my tum tum other than a couple of popsicles. It's difficult to eat when you have zero appetite (something I would like to carry with me post-recovery! lol) and it hurts to swallow, but I have to eat something to keep my throat hydrated.
Day #2 No nausea, thank god, just a lot of lolloping around doing nothing and every time I'd take another Percocet I'd be down for the count for several hours. I always wake up with cotton mouth and dread that first sip of water that will hurt as it goes down, the way a shot of whiskey may have hurt before, no joke. Everything is more tender today, less blood from my nose, more mucus or dried blood. Sometimes there are fleeting moments were I can get a (highly obstructed) breath through my nose that makes quite an unpleasant noise and I just say screw it, wait til Harvey vacuums out the debris in there and hopefully I'll be able to breath comfortably.
So, yes, feeling rather useless these days. I can't even watch a whole movie without getting aggravated by the sound (ears hurt, a residual problem since ENT are all connected in this great circle of life).
OK I think I'm too exhausted to write more on my Percocet and Ambien cocktail. Nighty night.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Tonsillectomy and Septoplasty recovery (among other nose issues)
Fair warning -- includes details of a medical procedure and its recovery. ---
I'm writing this little entry because from what I've seen, not many sources are available online describing the duo-procedure of a tonsillectomy and septoplasty at the same time (also had the adenoids and turbinates reduced, but laypeople don't usually know what those are, so moving on....). Also, this provides me an opportunity to vent.
The other inspiration for me to write this, and far less Helpful Hannah, is that I've been sleeping on and off and naturally waking up when I'm due for another Percocet (which has to be crushed in apple sauce, because there's just no way I could swallow that horse pill with my throat like this).
Percocet is no longer what I consider a gift from god. Oh sure, it was at first, but I think that when you're on a semi empty stomach of a spoonful of applesauce and a few popsicles (which are a challenge to get down and only tolerated because they help soothe the throat), the Percocet adds a new and entirely unwelcome monkey wrench: extreme nausea. Yeah. Already yaked a few times, not really sure what the contents of my stomach had to provide, but it was gnarly. At least I find that when I lay down flat on my back with my head elevated, I don't feel so nauseated.
Still attempting to breathe through the nose to little avail. It's filled with goo and dried blood and scar tissue, so now I really can't breathe through it hardly at all. It bleed excessively if you don't keep your head above your heart, e.g., if you decide to bend over or, y'know, hug the porcelain throne while silently cursing god for this painful affliction. What happens when you do put your head below the heart area is a massive nosebleed -- happened to me a couple times already because I forgot about that rule. And I can't blow my nose or anything normal, I have to clean it out with a q tip and hyrogen peroxide and neosporin every few hours, then change the gauze pad under my nose which collects blood.
I'm sure this will all be worth it in the end, because my sleep will improve dramatically once my nose is fully open and doesn't congest as soon as my head hits the pillow. Not to mention my tonsils were obstructing my airway to a degree that dictated their removal, as well.
It's not just sleep, either, but that in exercise I find myself needing more air in my lungs and I just can never get it. Even while riding horses I needed more oxygen.
One more log of discomfort to throw down on the fire is my EARS. Loud noises really hurt. I can only watch the TV at a mere hum, or when I chat with people they have to take down the volume.
I'm not really trying to complain (maybe just a bit), I just want to detail what it's like to go through these procedures. And it'll be worth it. The doctor said I had "monster tonsils," big adenoids which really obstructed my breathing (which were removed, too, but the funny thing is that part of the anatomy usually disappears after age 13), then that deviated septum, which I had no idea was a factor for me at all until I met my doctor, so they just included the procedure, too, so more air can flow through my nostrils.
As of now, I can't attest to the success of any of these procedures yet, since my nose is blocked, my throat hurts like none other, and I'm just exhausted and a bit nauseated from my pills. Something tells me I will be a very happy camper in the end, though, so I'm looking forward to being able to breathe!
I'm writing this little entry because from what I've seen, not many sources are available online describing the duo-procedure of a tonsillectomy and septoplasty at the same time (also had the adenoids and turbinates reduced, but laypeople don't usually know what those are, so moving on....). Also, this provides me an opportunity to vent.
The other inspiration for me to write this, and far less Helpful Hannah, is that I've been sleeping on and off and naturally waking up when I'm due for another Percocet (which has to be crushed in apple sauce, because there's just no way I could swallow that horse pill with my throat like this).
Percocet is no longer what I consider a gift from god. Oh sure, it was at first, but I think that when you're on a semi empty stomach of a spoonful of applesauce and a few popsicles (which are a challenge to get down and only tolerated because they help soothe the throat), the Percocet adds a new and entirely unwelcome monkey wrench: extreme nausea. Yeah. Already yaked a few times, not really sure what the contents of my stomach had to provide, but it was gnarly. At least I find that when I lay down flat on my back with my head elevated, I don't feel so nauseated.
Still attempting to breathe through the nose to little avail. It's filled with goo and dried blood and scar tissue, so now I really can't breathe through it hardly at all. It bleed excessively if you don't keep your head above your heart, e.g., if you decide to bend over or, y'know, hug the porcelain throne while silently cursing god for this painful affliction. What happens when you do put your head below the heart area is a massive nosebleed -- happened to me a couple times already because I forgot about that rule. And I can't blow my nose or anything normal, I have to clean it out with a q tip and hyrogen peroxide and neosporin every few hours, then change the gauze pad under my nose which collects blood.
I'm sure this will all be worth it in the end, because my sleep will improve dramatically once my nose is fully open and doesn't congest as soon as my head hits the pillow. Not to mention my tonsils were obstructing my airway to a degree that dictated their removal, as well.
It's not just sleep, either, but that in exercise I find myself needing more air in my lungs and I just can never get it. Even while riding horses I needed more oxygen.
One more log of discomfort to throw down on the fire is my EARS. Loud noises really hurt. I can only watch the TV at a mere hum, or when I chat with people they have to take down the volume.
I'm not really trying to complain (maybe just a bit), I just want to detail what it's like to go through these procedures. And it'll be worth it. The doctor said I had "monster tonsils," big adenoids which really obstructed my breathing (which were removed, too, but the funny thing is that part of the anatomy usually disappears after age 13), then that deviated septum, which I had no idea was a factor for me at all until I met my doctor, so they just included the procedure, too, so more air can flow through my nostrils.
As of now, I can't attest to the success of any of these procedures yet, since my nose is blocked, my throat hurts like none other, and I'm just exhausted and a bit nauseated from my pills. Something tells me I will be a very happy camper in the end, though, so I'm looking forward to being able to breathe!
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