Guess who's po' fo' sho?

This is one of the tests I had to take for a job as a proofreader at a financial firm: a typing speed test. I typed 101 words per minute; hence, I am awesome. And modest. Hey, I have to type fast to do phone interviews and type at about the rate of human speech (at least in shorthand if nothing else). I would've been an awesome stenographer back in the 1920s. Bahaha...I have lofty aspirations.

Now for something completely different, and amusing/or sad.



Well if it's at that bargain price, I'll take two!!!

...In what warped world is this considered normal? Maybe for the top .05% income bracket. Sigh.

One more unrelated thing, just to make this interesting: am I the only person I know who isn't engaged/or married at the age of 24? Jesus Christ on a bicycle, what's wrong with me? I mean, don't get me wrong -- I have absolutely no desire to tie myself down, nor do I consider myself ready, but it does give me pause. My mom was married and had a kid on the way by my age. My grandma had already had three daughters by the time she was my age, and two years later, she had her fourth.

On the flipside, I'm only 24 god-forsaken years old. There is no justifiable reason why I need some dude to put a ring on it, yet, especially if I'm not ready. For one thing, who wants to end up on the wrong side of the divorce statistic? Not I. I remember my dad said the one most important decisions a person can make is "spousal selection," so I wouldn't take that choice lightly. I think more people should focus on, say, the marriage instead of a wedding; however, I will admit this doesn't stop me from watching girly shows about weddings such as "Platinum Weddings" or "My Fair Wedding by David Tutera" or "Say Yes to the Dress," and even occasionally I'll watch "Bridezillas" if I'm feeling particularly like watching trash TV. It's all a circus. The "wedding industry" makes billions every year, and to me that's kind of pathetic. I wonder how much divorce attorneys make per year?

Oh, am I too cynical? *Shrug* I won't deny that claim. It's true. But here's a quote to cap off this "life is ridiculous" post: Behind every cynic is a disappointed idealist. Alternatively, I've heard this quote: Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.

A great mind never rests! ...or something

For reasons unknown, I feel the burning desire to write in my sadly neglected blog while I am deliriously tired and my vision is slightly blurred, but hey, them's the breaks.

Turns out my foray into the job search is a tricky, bumpy road. It's tricky when you are so obviously under- or overqualified for many of the positions you read about, it makes for some low morale in even trying to look. I even looked into training as a court reporter, which I would love. I'm a huge dork about any and everything Law & Order, and I'm fascinated by criminal justice. I'd love the chance to report about that, specifically, since it would give me access to all the nitty gritty things I want to learn. *Squee* Even the thought of being trained makes me feel like I'm some sort of demented hamster in a wheel.

The point, though, is that it's somewhat discouraging when you have to go back to school in order to get a job that isn't something I'm outrageously overqualified to do.. Good news is I souped up my resume, once again, so it looks mighty fine.


And she's lookin' like a beaut. Hire me? *puppy dog eyes*

What else is new - well, every time I write in here I wonder about the whole internet privacy thing. Like if someone reads stuff about me are they going to know more than they should and yadda yadda. Hard to say. I'd say for most people, their unique personality won't hinder their job performance, unless of course we're referring to drugs getting in the way, or party lifestyle taking away from their work ethic. Shrug. What bothers me more is sending an email to one person and then when it's on the other person's email account, s/he can control if anybody else is going to see it. Hmm...

Sometimes, no...often, I'll wish I was born in another era. I dunno when, precisely, I just don't quite feel like the age of iPods and flat screens and WiFi and over-medicating the world is the answer. Back to the point, the whole issue about internet safety just boggles my mind. It takes me back to kindergarten, when our counselor came to the classroom and put on a little show about not talking to strangers or getting into their car and such. Don't talk to strangers...hm...now I write a blog for all to see. Mwahaha! And is it narcissism? Well, I'd say not, seeing how while blogs ain't that old, there have always been feature writers, columns in papers, and the like. And, of course, books! "Primitive versions of the DVD" (Sex & the City). That's what I like to do. Read! I'm kind of crazy with reading, but sometimes I'll get in a slump where I don't read as much and I develop a bond with Netflix instant viewing, instead.

Makes me wonder what it would've been like to grow up in, say, the 20s-40s, where the main multimedia entertainment outlets were vaudeville at first, then radio or phonograph. Then the movies, usually black and white, but hey, the addition of sound was quite welcome (after some hiccups). TV still didn't even come around for a good 10 years. No cell phones, either. When I was a little kid, I remember having to stop at a pay phone and call somebody when you get some place or pull over along the way if you wanted to touch base. Now we're all spoiled with our texting and tweeting craze and BS.



This has left out another point I wanted to touch on -- clothing. I love retro 30-40s style glam. I've always loved clothes. And the body types of women were much different than they are now, too.


Jean Harlow really knew how to flaunt it to the max and was slick as can be. She was the original blonde bombshell before Marilyn, before Madonna, before all the other wannabes. Shame that she died in her twenties from uremic poisoning.

And geez, even in the past 15 years, attitudes have changed. Go rent "Clueless" and you'll see there has even been a change in what's a sexy body type since then. Alicia Silverstone definitely had some curves. Not curves in the "oh you're not fat you're curvy!" BS that makes all the real curvy and non tubs of cellulite women shy away from the term (ahem...myself), but literally, the flattering, and HEALTHY female frame. And let's be serious, the girl was probably a size 6. If only...



That body type would be one I'd aspire to have. Psh, I know I couldn't be a ruler of 10% body fat, so I'll set realistic goals. I'd rather aspire to those goals than resign myself to a slow descent into eventually becoming Jabba the Hutt.



Good Lord, only I could somehow segue from Alicia Silverstone to Jabba the Hutt. And it ain't gonna happen, the Jabba look, that is. No sir.

I feel as though I contradict myself now and again in here, but I chop that up to lack of sleep with a dash of delirium, so who's to say. In any case, I can be pretty fickle at times, what with being a libra. Oh I know, roll your eyes at the astrology thing. Hehe.

Not to mention the fact that this post started on an entirely different topic than how it ended. No, I don't have ADD, just a case of the sleepies. Time to hit the sheets, this is attempt numero....I dunno. We'll see if it's successful. Wish me luck in my noble quest.