My Spanish love affair (while in the USA)

OK so let me start with this: Spain has its own social networking site that is called Tuenti (http://www.tuenti.com), which I signed up for while I was living in Spain in 2008-2009. I haven't been on the site in probably more than a year, and I hardly used it while I was there, either. I only logged in because I got an email saying I had a message on the site, which I found intriguing, because who would send me a message on Tuenti instead of writing to my email address or on Facebook? Well, the answer is much like you'd expect: someone who I've never heard of in my life.

Here is the message from some dude named Michael Jose - click to enlarge:


Now it's been a while since I've taken a course in Spanish/English translation, so forgive me that this will not be a professional translation, but this is what Michael Jose wrote to me (with proper grammar and punctuation as much as possible, although it is pretty tricky with MJ's run-on sentences):

"Hello, I been have trying for like half an hour to think of a way to write you a message that wouldn't be really long, and you know what? It's impossible, thousands and thousands of messages with the same ending or the same wording, only to tell you how spectacular you are, but you know what, what I would particularly love to know if this "spectacularness" that you have with your body also is in your personality, because seriously that would be a magnificent surprise to know that a person as magnificent as you are, I'm not looking for anything more than your friendship and please respond to this message if you read it. Well, I could go my whole life writing to you, maybe now I should say goodbye and just wish that someday I will check my email and be surprised to find your response, bye, kisses, if you would like to add me on MSN it is (redacted). Sorry for the sermon."

OK now there is the possibility that this is just some big prank and he's like "oh, I'm going to message the guiri on Tuenti, jejejeje!" "Guiri," by the way, is the word Spaniards use for foreigners as a kind of derogatory word similar to Mexicans calling Americans "gringos." I doubt that, however, seeing how he replied to me again when I sent my response. Either way, this is what I said in response to MJ:


This is how I responded: "How do you know me? Good God, man...I don't remember you, but thanks for the compliments..." and he said "Well the truth is I sent you a message so I could get to know you."

Alas, MJ, it appears we are destined to be star-crossed lovers. You live in the land of delusion (err, Spain), and I live in Southern California. Thanks for playing!